marriage & relationships, Uncategorized

3 unexpected things about engagement

Almost 2 months in, I now consider myself the resident expert in engagements.

Not really, but wow can you learn a lot in such a short time. Or maybe not learn so much as realize what you don’t know.

As we close in on the last month before the wedding, I wanted to share some of the things I have learned so far in this journey of engagement.

  1. Planning with another person is hard. I knew this would be the case, but wow I didn’t realize how much so. It’s not that J and I don’t work together well, because we actually do and that’s why we’re getting married, but it’s really hard to find the time and space for the necessary communication to pull it off. Especially being long-distance, it’s tricky to plan without always being able to be in the same place and work side-by-side. It’s also really tempting for me to just blaze ahead with my own ideas and not consider J’s opinions, so I’m learning a lot about waiting and letting him have input, even if it’d be easier for me to do it myself.
  2. Engagement is emotionally confusing. I didn’t expect this in the slightest. Because we had talked so much about getting engaged prior to him actually proposing, I thought I had emotionally processed all the engaged things. Haha nope. What I have found is that being engaged feels like a messy married-but-not-actually-married. “Going home” feels like a weird thing to say when home feels like it should be together, and SO soon it will be. Saying goodbye feels unnatural. But then on the flip-side, there’s an unexpected but necessary grief in the realization that the season of singleness is about to end permanently. And it’s all good and it’s all bad and it’s all a part of the process.
  3. Engagement is exciting. I don’t want it to all sound bad! More than anything, engagement has been filled with anticipation and excitement and so much joy in planning and preparing for our future together.

If you are, or have been engaged, what are some things you experienced but didn’t expect?

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