lifestyle, Uncategorized

Navigating Long Distance Relationships, part 2.

From part 1….

“When J first started the process of pursuing a job back in South Carolina, my heart sunk. I had watched friends go through long-distance relationships and swore up and down that was not the life for me. I remember telling J that during a period of time where he was doing a lot of travelling and we were going for long stretches without seeing each other that “I did not sign up for a long-distance relationship!” Little did I know, within a year that’s exactly what we would be doing.

Our long-distance isn’t as far as some. I feel a little sheepish acting as an authority on long-distance when I know so many who are states and states apart, or even in separate countries. I’m really thankful that he is just one state away and close enough for weekend trips, but sometimes I think the constant saying-hello-just-to-say-goodbye feels harder than one long goodbye.

Over the next week, I am going to share what has been good about long distance, what has been bad about long distance, and what I have learned from long distance. I hope you will read along! If you have or are in a long distance relationship, I would love for you to share about your experience in the comments.”

Here we go with the bad

  1. Uncertainty.

Walking through this season of long-distance without having a set endpoint is one of the most emotionally challenging things I have walked through. There are a lot of unanswered questions and the waiting is really, really, really hard.

 

  1. Hard things are harder.

In my last post I shared how the time we have together is so much more meaningful and we take less for granted; it’s also true that when things don’t go as planned and we lose time we thought we would have, phone calls get missed, etc, it’s infinitely harder because everything carries so much weight.

 

3. Communication.

Just like I shared in the “good” post about how long-distance has been so good for our communication, miscommunications happen SO easily and can cause a lot of strife. It’s really easy to misunderstand a text message or to get schedules mixed up which often results in unintentionally hurt feelings.

 

4. Comparison.

It’s really hard to not compare our relationship to other relationships, both long-distance and not. Looking at other long-distance relationships makes me wonder if ours should look more like theirs and if we are doing something wrong. Comparing to relationships that aren’t long-distance is especially dangerous because it’s easy to get caught up in what things could look like and feel constantly disappointed by the ways it feels like we are missing out.

 

Long distance definitely is not the easiest thing I have ever done so I want to be real about the hard things that come with it. In the next post, though, I will share the ways we have grown through this season!

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